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Posts Tagged ‘healing’

Last year, for those dance friends who may have stumbled on my blog, you may recall I had many a ‘Yale Story’. I’m talking about The Yale, a blues bar where a group of us have danced for the last ~18 months on Monday nights. For much of last year I had many ‘Yale Stories’, and it got to the point where people thought I should keep a list. I didn’t. Though I remember some of the best.

What are ‘Yale Stories’? Yale Stories are those stories that happen when a drunk (or not so drunk) guy hits on a woman.  Usually I’m there to dance, so I’m not drinking heavily.  Needless to say their attempts are unsuccessful, I get a free glass of wine. On occasion.  100% unsuccessful on the poor drunken bar guy though. Mostly it was funny, and I have a lot of guy friends who would protect me — sometime too much! 😀

Anyhow, last December certain events became stressful in my life. I was having a conversation last week that made me realize that there is a correlation between that stress and the lack of ‘Yale Stories’.  I was asked the question why should those events and that stress suddenly change this.  I think I retreated back into some ‘shell of protection’. And it’s permeated all areas of my life. Or most anyhow…

Tonight at The Yale, I had a ‘Yale Story’. Nothing particularly special, certainly doesn’t top my best ever yale story, but it was a Yale Story. An older man — old enough to be my father — came up to me and said… “Hi… Wow… You’re Beautiful…” then stood about 6 feet away from me. Waiting. A dance friend rescued me.

So this intentional journey of healing, personal growth, and simply ‘dealing’ with those issues that we all have to deal with, that I’m currently on seems to be taking me somewhere. I’m projecting more self confidence perhaps? I got a Yale Story back. And that’s a good thing.

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Now that I’m working, I seem to have options for other opportunities sent my way. There’s the school option, multiple interview options – often with recruiters who I’ve worked with in the past – they all seem to have the ‘perfect for me’ job. There’s the test, too.

The test I’ll take, that could set me up for a job a year, two, down the road. School I am relieved to point out, I can defer. I had to write a letter making my request, and I have to wait for a response – which will take a few weeks. But, they said it’s usually not an issue. It’s especially fortunate that I am, quite honestly in the throes of family crisis, so my excuse is very very real. Ironically, today’s the day that I finally managed to speak with people (we’d spent the last 3 days playing telephone tag).  I get home and what do you know, another recruiter I’d worked with in the past calling to catch up.

Tonight was another dance night. So far, since moving my blog to this site, my dancing’s been highly ineffective. I always seem to be posting about unsuccessful dance nights. Well tonight, I was in a good mood, relieved over the school deferral, and ready to dance. I get down to the beach and there were one or two other dancers there but no DJ and no music. I know these guys so I call them and they’re having dinner and will be there after. No worries, I had some journalling that I needed to get done, and was hoping for time to do that.

But, they ended up taking an hour. Or more. A lot of people were there, waiting for them to show up. I suppose they eventually did, but I left before they got there.   The thing was, I was feeling in such a good mood, that I felt like I had the energy and strength to make a call to one of my family members. This is someone I love dearly and in my necessary hiding away as I process and sort through ‘stuff’, I miss seeing them.

So, while heading to the beach I gave this person a quick call. Left a message. And while I was waiting to dance, they called me back. Questioned why I’ve been hiding and what was going on, and when I explained it, spoke up with fears that I have about my hiding. I’m sure that makes no sense at all to anyone reading this, but it suffice it to say, it really stressed me out. Do they think choosing to hide is easy on me? The easy road for me is to not hide and to not deal.  But I’ve learned that I need to take care of myself or I wont make it with my sanity intact (no comments from the peanut gallery!).  If I’d taken the time I needed 6 months ago (though I know I wasn’t ready in some respects), perhaps the situation wouldn’t be what it is. But it is. So I am. Hiding and dealing.

But it did stress me out, and since there wasn’t music yet, I had no way of distracting myself (and it meant I heard my phone ring in the first place), and I was really hoping to be distracted. So I tried journalling, that helped calm me down – mostly, but not enough to hang out. I just wanted to go home and ‘process’. So I did. Sadly, I handled it with my favourite inappropriate way to handle stress. I should have gone for a jog instead. Oh well, next time.

So yet another unsuccessful night of dancing. OR not. Next week, I hope to get my dance back. When going about my day to day life, I’m feeling like ‘me’ again, and I want to have fun doing ‘me’ activities. Like dancing. I miss it.

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