Posts Tagged ‘friends’

Tonight was an intense night. Things happened that needed to happen and I don’t know that I feel good about them yet. It was intense.  I need to blog, I need to write, but the words aren’t in me.  When thinking about life, future the way things need to go, I know that going through this intensity is a must.

But I don’t want to. What I want to do is to take my entire life and redesign it from the ground up.

One thing I’m learning is the value of good friends. Some friends are friends for a season, others for life, some come and go depending on where your paths take you.  All those different friends have great value. Those who are for life, I don’t know what I’d do without you.


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I’m happy to report that my re-found ‘fun’ of dance is truely back.

The weekend brought dance, a new BBQ (to replace a crapy one I’d gotten rid of), and fun with friends.

My Canada day almost feels like it started Monday Evening. I had an appointment first, then went to a work BBQ.  After the BBQ I made my way to a blues night. It’s at a bar, was quite busy with Canada Day the next day and most people off work.

At the dance I had some great dances, the band was good, though more funk than bluesy. But regardless, I really have found “my fun” again. While I was there, I had a ‘dance etiquette’ issue to deal with. There’s a lead in town who dances with me. Sometimes several times in a night. Once, about a month ago, he even realized that I was having a rough time and made sure to keep me on the dance floor. It definitely helped improve my mood. But, whenever I ask him to dance he turns me down. Every time, no exaggeration.  There’s always a different excuse. I couldn’t hear what his excuse was this time – the music was loud – but I got another ‘no’.  Plus, a few minutes later (the next song) he ended up walking past me and dancing with another girl (who hadn’t yet arrived when I asked him to dance). I’m sick of it. It makes me think that he asks me to dance out of obligation and not out of enjoyment, that it’s a control issue, or something.

Skipping ahead for a moment, on Canada Day he did ask me to dance. I commented that I would but first I had a question for him. I flat out asked him what was up. He couldn’t come up with a good explanation.  Only that he didn’t feel that he was doing that.  I let him know that he indeed was, that I wasn’t happy about always being turned down and that I’d suggest he say yes the next time I asked.  Because, to be honest, I like dancing with him, but really if he can’t say yes at least sometimes when I ask him, I’d rather not dance with him. I don’t want to be an ‘obligation dance’.  So, when I can again work up my courage, I will ask him again, but only once more.  To me, constantly saying no is rude, and poor dance etiquette and it diminishes my enjoyment of dances with him.

Anyhow, after Monday night’s dance I got home late and had to get up on Canada Day at 6am to run the “Run for Canada 10k”.  It was fun, I wasn’t going for speed, just fun. And I did have a good time. I ended up doing intervals, which was a first for a 10k for me – ever. But I didn’t mind, I was doing it for fun, not for a best time. It was also nice to get to know “S’s” friend “T” a little bit. Seems really nice.

The whirlwind that was Canada Day continued. I got home, ready and one of my good friends came over, helped me fix a BBQ that I’d bought on the weekend. I’d connected the hose to the tank, and tried starting it. The tank filled the hose but apparently that was all the propane that the tank had because it wouldn’t ignite the BBQ.  So, I replaced the tank and it still wouldn’t work. So, on Canada Day D came over to help me sort out the BBQ. What does he do? Disconnect the hoses, and reconnect them. It starts. I’m convinced that the BBQ just needed encouragement that a male was going to use it — occasionally given that BBQ’ing is traditionally a male domain.  Anyhow, we gave it a test drive and it seems to be a great buy.

After the BBQ fix, we went to Granville Island for Canada Day and did what’s called “Lindy Bombing”. A crazy term perhaps but it means a random group of lindy hoppers showing up to dance to a danceable band in public and where it’s not necessarily a dance with a dance floor – often we’re just dancing where we can.

Two bands, Company B and the New Orleans Ale Stars performed and there were many many dancers out. It was a fantastic turn out and wonderful to see so many people who’ve not been out recently.  I had some fun dances and facebook certainly has many photos of the day.

At the end of the day we had about a 3 hour break so after I totally lost it due to hunger (I REALLY need to eat every couple of hours and if I get hungry someone should just give me food. One of my pals did that — took me to get me some food), we went to the beach with my new BBQ, and had a BBQ on the beach and watched the fireworks. My friends were very sweet… they even bought me an ‘Unbirthday Cake’. Last year on my birthday (at Christmas), I didn’t really celebrate it. Was a terrible birthday, in fact. So this year I’d commented that I was going to celebrate my unbirthday instead… they remembered and bought me an ice cream cake and even sang happy unbirthday to me. So cute.

Anyhow, it was a packed day, and I had a great time, all in all, and I can’t wait for the next big celebration…

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I don’t have children – yet (and it’s a long way off in the future when I do). I have babysat a lot over the years, and I’ll admit that I do occasionally look after my friend’s son – though I enjoy spending time with both of them, so more often than not it’s the 3 of us, or perhaps just my friend and I if my friend’s taking a break for the evening.  But occasionally I will babysit while she goes out.

Tonight was one of those evenings. Her son was finished his dinner, so we played, he showed me his firetruck, a car, we played with the kitty (or she hissed at him and glared at me, rather), read a lot of books, played with a wooden puzzle with sea creatures, and played with the big soft blocks (fun involving me stacking them on my head until he knocks them off).

Then Bedtime came. So I started the bath but was sensing some resistance.  However, I got the bath going, and when her son didn’t want to take it, I gave him a choice: bath & play a bit, read more then bed, or just PJ’s and read then bed.

He chose the PJ’s. So we read lots of books, said goodnight to everything in sight even had an easy teeth brushing (though not in that order…). Then when it came time to put him into his bed. He SCREAMED. He. Had. To. Have. A. Bath. And of course there’s no reasoning with a 2.5 year old who’s upset.

I hope he remembers the fun we had playing and not the ‘bath no bath issue’.  Thankfully he fell asleep before his mom got home – by the end of things he was gasping ‘I <gasp> Need <gasp> Mommy <gasp> <scream>’.  I managed to get him lying down and then I rubbed his back until it was just cries and then I left him alone and he fell asleep soon after.

Otherwise, a fun evening hanging out with my friend and her adorable son (both of whom I love to pieces), though I did manage to miss Blues at the Yale. Again. I had every intention of going, but some things are not meant to be, and this was definitely the right choice for this evening. Next week, though, I’ll be there. And I’ll stay for all 3 sets. Having a STAT holiday the next day helps in that respect…

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Last night I had the hardest time getting to sleep, but such has been the case of late. It was mildly frustrating though because I knew I was getting up at 5am to eat properly before today’s half marathon.

Today was my third time running the Scotiabank Vancouver Half Marathon and it was a bittersweet day. Other than not sleeping well, I awoke feeling ready to face today. I had my usual pre-race breakfast of oatmeal, a banana and yoghurt.   I spent the rest of my time puttering about and getting ready for the race. All those last minute details — gels, keys, sunglasses.  Paul, my running group coordinator, picked me up at 6am and we were at the start line at UBC at 6:20am with a vanload: 8 people and a large boisterous chocolate lab.

After a final pit stop, losing each other a few times and general chaos, we were at the start.  I was over the start line about a minute after the gun went off, and started off nice and steady.  I found my breathing was really laboured today, probably some effects from some sort of allergy that’s had my congested and sneezing and coughing all week. Also, my heart rate shot up and stayed up the entire race. The first 8k were around the campus and is generally full of small rolling hills that until you run a race on them, you don’t notice.  Then we headed down the long hill at NW Marine DR and along the beach. I knew by the time I reached 8k that today wasn’t going to be any PB, I just wasn’t feeling great. So I settled into my, slower, full marathon pace and decided to enjoy the morning. It was a gorgeous morning! 1000x better than last year! For anyone who ran the race last year who is reading this, you will remember feeling like an icy drowned rat. It was wet and cold. I was so wet last year I had to hold my pants up to keep them from falling off, they were very heavy and saggy with water.

Not this year. I couldn’t ask for more perfect race conditions, it makes me wish I was having a better race day. It was overcast when I woke up but the report said no chance of rain. So I dressed quite lightly and even by the time we were waiting at the start it getting brighter and brighter. But it was still with high light cloud, which is really great because it meant I hardly needed my sunglasses, and we weren’t dying from the heat as we were in the 2006 race.

By the end of the race, I just pushed myself to finish. I wished I had a runnig partner with the same goals as me so we could commit to working towards the goals together, I usually find that when I run with a partner we push each other when we each need it and we both run faster, and more consistent together than alone.  Not long now, though until my running partner’s baby’s born. I know she’ll need to adjust and recover, but I hope she’ll soon be back in running form. I miss her particularly on days like today.

Crossing the finishline was good. I was glad to be done the run, this route is one of my favourites, and I certainly run it for pleasure when I go out for runs! But, how I was feeling at today’s race made me sigh with a bit of frustration at how I was feeling. That being said, checking my time compared with last year, I am about 1min faster this year than last year, so it’s a course record for me. So that’s positive. But it’s also about 5min slower than my PB, and it’s about the same time as my marathon split, so essentially not that long ago I was able to do the same thing as today, but twice. Yikes.

Looking at my Garmin data, I can always tell when I’m struggling — my average HR was quite high, and didn’t ever drop. That’s always a sign that I’m not doing well physically. Last time that happened on a run, I ended up with bronchitis for 2 weeks and I ended up starting my new job with no voice.  So tonight I start ColdFX to help make sure I stay healthy.

So my plans:

1. DO YOGA! I really feel stiff, inflexible and sore, so I need to get some yoga done. I’m going to see if I can find a Saturday morning class on Granville Island so I can still meet up with my gang post run.

2. Train for the OIM (Full — Canadian Thanksgiving) with my running room running group (Sunday mornings).

3. Find a bootcamp that runs 3x/week for August and likely September.  I really need to get some cross training in.

4. Think seriously about repairing, or replacing my bicycle so that I can cycle commute to things more.

5. Find a half to run for around the end of August.

After the race was over, we hung out and cheered everyone on and flaked out wrapped in the thermal blankets.  Then one of my running buds and I went to Kits pool and sat in the shallow end to help our legs.  It was very soothing.  Not quite an ice bath but it was relaxing. After the pool we met the gang for our traditional post-race lunch at Milestones and then went to a beach BBQ where I’m afraid I wasn’t very social. By this time it was hot and gorgeous so I flaked out on the grass and napped in the sunshine. Unfortunately I missed another event I was supposed to attend, but I was so wiped I just needed to nap.  And that’s just what I’ve spent this evening doing. Napping. So now I have no food for lunch tomorrow, so I’ll likely have to buy something. But I’m feeling refreshed and ready to re-vamp and change my training for the rest of this year. Who knows, maybe I’ll get my goal PB yet in 2008.

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Perhaps a slightly odd title, or rather two.  Friday was a day where we were short staffed and it was just the other newbie Tech Support Rep and I on occasion. So even though we aren’t completely at the point of being ready to answer the phones, I “learned to answer the telephones” on Friday.

But office supplies.  I have a few things that I need but aren’t in the supply area: a stapler, a calculator, a cork board and a footrest. The footrest was ordered without any hitches. The cork board needed longer approval but it’s on it’s way too. The stapler and calculator were interesting.  My colleague and I made our choices fairly conservatively, certainly fairly inexpensive, the two items were less than $30 combined.

We were told that the were going to replace the ones we ordered with ones that were part of the new ‘company standard’. A logical thing, I had no problems with it. The stapler came and we were bumped up in the world. I’d chosen a cheap stapler that was very basic. The ones we received were pretty impressive, and more than what I need. But hey, no complaints. The calculators on the other hand were these giant things with giant buttons. And no scientific functions. At all. Oh, but I could calculate taxes. Keep in mind, I am a biologist and in a technical position and use things like exponents etc. A key reason for having the calculators, in fact. So now I have a giant calculator that doesn’t do me any more good than the calculator on my phone. Oh, other than the buttons are nice and easy to use.  Anyhow, my manager was amused by this oversight, we’ve all had some good laughs and hopefully soon I’ll have a useful calculator.

After work on Friday I went to the event ‘Chip’s Not Dead Yet’ was something you had to see to believe. The link is here: http://www.chipsnotdeadyet.com/. I went as a bridesmaid along with my running partner who went as a shotgun bride (she’s 6.5months pregnant). Our friend were brides, a few didn’t get dressed up, we had rock and rollers and a couple of grooms.  Photos will be posted. I am afraid. All in all a great event, and the winner of the elites is going to buy his mom a house. And he donated $1000 back to the charity. After the race was over a few of us went to Ikea for ‘Midnight Madness’. It was a great promo but the sale wasn’t as great as it could have been. But I got some things I needed and others I just wanted…

Anyhow, I have stories of how I’m cherishing friends right now, Prince Caspian, random thoughts and other musings of today. But I’ll have to share those later, because it’s time I stop blogging. I’m getting up very early to run a half marathon. So I’ll post my race review later on and more thoughts. But for now, it’s time for me to attempt to sleep.

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Time just seems to fly by, and it’s hard to believe it’s already the end of Wednesday.  Tuesday was a busy day at work, and today I managed to get a handle on a particular technique that I haven’t yet had to work with.  So I’ve been wrapping my brain around flow cytometry, which has been a lot of fun. Now I am moving from just understanding the general principles to much more specific — and hopefully enough to use it in my job as a tech support rep.

But it’s interesting too, I was sitting and having lunch in the lunchroom and some of the reps came over and joined me. I don’t envy them, given that I was in their position in my last job — and hated it.  But they have such an air of self assurance and confidence. This is a very good thing, but it reminds me of what I’m working on and makes it ever apparent to me just what I’m lacking. Not that they made me feel 2cm tall, far from it — they chose to sit and chat with me — but that it reminded me of my own battered and bruised spirit that is working on healing and how I didn’t feel confident and self assured. This isn’t about the job or knowing my stuff, it’s about ‘me’. If that makes any sense.

In fact, I find my feelings around blogging interesting. My other blog, one of my best friends didn’t have the link to it. Until we were chatting last night.  I will give her the link to this blog once I’ve finalized the transition from my old blog. That being said, I have always appreciated knowing that people are following my blog and are giving me feedback. I have posted this blog to be shared, so I do hope it’s getting read. If you are reading this, I’d love to hear what you think.

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A day of work, then an appointment that was good but utterly draining. Then dinner out with a girl friend. It was fun — we went to the Mongolie Grill where they grill your food.

Then we walked for more than an hour. Lots of walking today, so it’s okay that I didn’t end up working out. Probably 2 hours of walking.

Now I’m just really weary so it’s time for sleep. But I’m persisting.

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