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Posts Tagged ‘blogging’

Stress is going to be a theme for the next 20 months as I go through my Nursing School Program.  I realize that, and am prepared for that.  Some tools I have for managing my stress are:

  • This blog — blogging for me is a place to reflect on my life, my experiences and to process what’s going on in my world.  It’s a tool I’ve been using, it’s a place that I hope provides my readers with stories and insights into my world. A place that I hope provides others food for thought as they too seek to live their lives well.

  • Exercise — exercise is a key stress management tool for me.  It’s helpful that I know that when I’m working out regularly I’m generally healthier, better able to function in my stress.  But, the challenge I have is balancing everything. In past degrees I’ve fallen victim to the panic that if I’m not studying every second I’m going to do poorly.  This degree I’m NOT going to let that happen because I do not want to gain the ‘Freshman 15’.  So what tool am I using to make sure that I don’t fall off the running wagon (at the very least)? Train for races. I’ve been training for a marathon with the specific intent to keep running goals as a priority.

  • Friends — I have some friends on campus — close long time friends — so getting together with them for lunch occasionally really helps. Also another friend is a nurse and is also in school again so she’s a great resource and it is great to have her ‘in the trenches’ with me.

So what are some stresses that are coming up for me now? There’s nothing particularly that is causing me acute stress right now, but there are many little things that I’m sorting out and such.  So there are things that causing me the beginnings of stress and I’m working through them right now and I don’t yet have all the solutions to the concerns

  • Financial — I have a bit of a student loan but got no where near sufficient money to cover costs of living etc. I’m still working at my job, and am trying to stay, BUT, it wont cover living costs even remotely.  So I’m going to work on this a bit more this weekend so that I can at least have a plan in place.  I am trying not to stress about generating debt because I know that the current canadian pay rates for nurses — even if I’m at the lowest level and don’t work any overtime — means I will be okay once I’m done (assuming the fraser health authority restructuring doesn’t spread).  But, given my ‘hate debt’ sensibilities, it’s tough. Given my life dreams. It’s tough.  It’s also easy for me to fall into the pressure of not having a life to save money, but I don’t want to regret this time, I don’t want to hate my time in nursing school — I want happiness and amazing memories. Both in school and out.  So I will travel, visit those I want to visit (like going back to New Mexico), and enjoy my life to the best of my ability.

  • School — I haven’t yet figured out the tools I need to keep up with the work and to really learn the work.  I have to learn them quickly because my first final is on October 9th.  Yes, OCTOBER 9th.  So this means that keeping my job is stressful (yet not keeping my job is also stressful) because it’s a lot of hours that I could read (that being said, I took tonight off — was wiped out) and study.  How to balance everything is a learning process in itself, and it will come. The one benefit is that at least the material isn’t difficult, there’s just a lot of material to learn.

  • Personal life — the stresses in my personal life relating to family — that led to much reflection, counseling and processing last year are still on going. They’re under control because I have boundaries in place to protect myself.  One thing we’ve been talking about in school is connection and support networks.  This is an area of stress because I sometimes wonder if I have a good support network.  The challenges I’ve faced this past year or so have meant that I’m careful about who I lean on very much for support.  And as time goes on I really will need the support so I need to work on trusting those who could give me support, and not putting on a mask of ‘everything’s okay’ just because other people have betrayed my trust in the past.

  • Relationships — this both amuses me (as I watch the young girls in the program flirt with the few young single guys in the program) and makes me sad.  I guess this is somewhat connection with my personal life comments above — a lot of students in the program who are my age are married, often with kids. I’m comfortable in my situation because they all have to balance much more complex lives than I do.  But, the type of support that they have available is something I miss.  But, I need to relax on this and not start stressing because, really, I’ve been accepting that there are few men in this city who capture my interest (now if we talk about outside this city, that’s different — but that’s a different topic). Also, if there were someone here with me I would need to split my time more.  So I’m okay with where I’m at, on the whole, but due to ‘distractions’ in my life there are certain things that have the potential of stressing me out.

BUT all these things (except financial — that is more of a present concern) are things that have the potential to stress me out if I’m not careful.  So I’m trying not to let myself focus on them and instead I’m trying to do what I need to on any given day — such as this week I’m tired at the end of it, so I took the evening off last night and did nothing productive.

The rest of this weekend will be cleaning, planning (to reduce some of the stress I’m facing), and studying.  I’ll try the ‘timer method’ to attempt to get everything done. And now, since I’ve done little this weekend so far (except call a couple of banks, cell phone company etc — all important too) it’s time to start reading for next week.

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Well, not literally, but it has seemed like I’ve dropped of the blogosphere lately. I’ve been feeling sadly uninspired in my blog posts — if my purpose of this blog is to talk about the stories of my life as I seek to live my life well, I am seeing blog post  topics that fit this idea. How does a person live their life, and do it well — all while having a ‘normal’ life?  And really, for me — what does it mean to live my life well?? All key questions.

I’ve been thinking about some posts, none of which I’ll touch on in this post, but hopefully the inspiration for the topics will remain so that I can come back to them:

  • community and fostering a healthy balanced and growing community
  • sustainable living and how the culture of a region plays a role
  • thoughts on adoption, identity, and further explorations into this topic — what’s the next step?

For right now, though, I’ll leave it there. I’m currently on vacation in Arizona and not really that connected to the internet. I’ve been mulling around blog posts in my brain (if I have time I’ll journal them and transcribe them) and I will try to post some posts when I’m home. Some upcoming topics:

  • My first experience at a rock climbing gym
  • Dancing dancing dancing
  • Exploring a historical monument

Upcoming plans: SHOPPING (this is afterall Arizona –> great shopping), more relaxing by the pool, Tuscon, Grand Canyon, New Mexico, more dancing hopefully.

I’ve definitely needed this vacation and I’m feeling mellow and relaxed. I may not have gotten everything done before school starts, but I will definitely be ready to hit the ground running once I’m home!

So, even if I don’t post again on this trip, I haven’t permanently disappeared. Stay tuned!

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As the days progress, I’m getting closer and closer to my last day — from the foreseeable future at least — at my job.  It’s very weird to consider what changes are coming, but I know that they are right to happen, so even though I don’t know how I’m going to pay for living while I’m at school, I’m surprisingly unstressed about it.

I’ve mostly spent my time lately working through my finances — getting caught up on where I spend my money, and I’ve learned a few things like where I need to cut back.  But I need to sort these numbers out so that I can make my case as I appeal my student loan amounts.

Anyhow, I did want to give a short update. I don’t really know what to write about  right now — a bit of a blogging mental block, I suppose.  For my readers here, if you have questions or blog topics you would like me to write about, send your inspiration my way. I’d love to have themes to write about.  So what are you curious about? Have always wanted to ask me? Topic where you wonder where I stand?

For now I’m going to bed — an intense tempo run tonight means my legs are tired and I’m ready to crash!

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So I haven’t posted in at least a week. I’m not sure who’s consistently reading my blog but I’m still around. I have may stories of this past week and many thoughts and I got hung up on finishing the story of my Canada Day.  I still have that post in draft form, but not finishing it (too tired from the events) meant I haven’t continued blogging about the rest of what’s been going on.

Like, friends starting to learn to dance (that’s their stories not mine, but it made me happy), the day hiking trip that became ‘operation drowned rat’, dancing, work, making two batches of strawberry jam — the current count is 17 cups.

But I can’t let that be a hangup, because I don’t want to stop blogging just because I’m too busy or too tired to finish a post from a week ago. Suffice it to say, by not blogging, I’m out having fun. I’ve found my fun again. I’m starting to see dreams again that I’ve not been able to see for a while. I suppose that’s good, but these dreams feel unattainable right now.  I hope I’m wrong, and I am working on doing what I need to do to allow those dreams to become a reality.

So this week has been dancing, slacking off on running a little bit, hiking, friends and just enjoying my time. Had dinner with my grandma yesterday. I’ve been hiding and dealing with some stuff, so I haven’t seen her lately, though it was really really nice to catch up. I’ve missed her.

Tonight I went to Monk McQueen’s for drinks with my coworkers — two of my coworkers were having birthdays. Purely social, not a work event, which is nice. It’s making me more comfortable, though specifics about thoughts and plans are kept close.

Afterwards I came home and made jam: The recipe is in the Certo Light Package. Quite yummy if I may say so myself. My friend ‘J’ came over (a tangent: I just realized how confusing it is going to be to use initials for friends nicknames. I’ll have to come up with a better plan, but for now, J it is..EDIT: This J is now Jools in the future…), anyhow, J came over and she helped me finish up the jam — it’s much easier to have help to fill the jars, than not.  Then we cooked dinner on my BBQ and had dinner while I processed the jars of jam. Later on I went dancing at The Yale. No yale stories — I wish I’d had a blog last summer and fall. Every week there was a different yale story (all relating to how random bar patrons would hit on me). It became legend. Some were quite funny too. Anyhow, we arrived late and there were only 4 of us, 5 for much of the time. So I had to lead. But it let me get some stuff out of my system, distracted me from thinking about things that could have just stressed me out, and I had some fun dances.

And that brings me to now. I still would like to finish my Canada Day post but not tonight. For now I’m going to sleep, hopefully be ready to enjoy belly dance class tomorrow night, and get a run in (perhaps I should run to belly dance… that may work…). How I wish my bike were fixed!

Time for sleep.

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As I went about my day today, I began to wonder how I felt about having my blog available to view. Somehow, I’ve always felt ‘odd’ about having the link to it posted, say, on my facebook, or in my signature. But, I was okay with strangers — or those who are ‘unknown’ reading it.

Today at work, my boss asked for a meeting on Monday. She’s mentioned in the past that she wants to meet with each of us on a regular basis, one on one to chat and make sure the lines of communication are open.  Which, I think is a great great thing.

And I’m having no ‘warning signals’ in my gut. So I’m not concerned, all was normal. But, it did get me wondering who can see what I write here? I don’t plan on making everything passworded, but I know that if you read a couple of my stories you could probably figure out where I work and who I am — if you don’t already know me and if you work with me, for example. Even without me stating lots of details about work, or about what I do. And that makes me wonder because I have commented about school, and even though I’m not going, and that’s all deferred, I wouldn’t want my employer to think I’m dissatisfied or planning on jumping ship anytime soon. Far from it, in fact. But especially now, after so long not working full time, I don’t want to be caught off guard again. I need to not burn any bridges, at least for a while.

Anyhow, so I am curious. For those who blog frequently, how do you decide what is appropriate to share and what is better to be kept private? What is your rule while blogging? What types of things don’t get said?  I have my thoughts on that, and on my old blog site, I had certain subjects I just didn’t bring up.  Some things that I was vague about and some that was, well, ‘fair game’ as it were.

So as I move my blog fully to this site (at least mostly — for those who are reading this from my previous blog, that one will be topic specific but still active), I’d love to hear what you think about this whole subject.

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I have just begun a blog here on wordpress, and I am looking forward to exploring all the options. I’ve had a brief photoblog elsewhere, which I will move over here — eventually, though I haven’t updated it in a long time.  I also have a blog, that I do update (or have) on another site. It’s not a blog site and it’s quite limited in its functionality. I’m attempting to figure out how to transfer those posts. It doesn’t fit any of the existing formats, so I have to play around somewhat, or I’ll be uploading them individually and backdating them. I don’t expect anyone who starts following this blog to catch up – unless you want to, of course. That would be daunting.

Anyhow, I am here, I will be starting to blog as I get things set up and as I figure out the system.  I’m sure someone’s reading this blog wondering about my title.  It was partly coined in honour of C.S. Lewis, but it came about as a title of the newsletters I would send home as I was travelling. One day I’ll upload the text of those emails, but that’s quite far off in the future.

So, welcome to my blog, join me as I explore what it means to live well on this journey called life.  For now, I leave you with a quote:

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”


Ralph Waldo Emerson

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