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Archive for September, 2010

On and off lately I’ve been exploring online dating. I have those experiences that good stories are made of, if nothing else — really, one day I’ll have to see if I can capture the humour that was the Gumby story in writing. Recently, I decided I need to take initiative more — I use the ‘he should pursue’ as a crutch or an excuse not to act. I’m trying to take initiative more. But, this post (sorry I’ve been AWOL, schools nuts — as normal — but this story has to be shared) isn’t about me and taking initiative.

This is about a simple rule I have when chatting with someone I don’t know from an online dating site: using whatever available information I have I do an internet search on the guy. Often they eventually give me their email address. Unlike me, they usually use their main email. I appreciate that as it makes my digging easier. I use a non-identifying email address — that I check — so that I have a certain amount of anonymity, at least until I have met them once or twice.

But, whatever information they give me (a number an email address etc), I search for them. Last weekend I decided to contact a couple of guys who’s profile seemed interesting to me. One guy respectfully responded that he was already communicating with someone and felt it was not polite to correspond with more than one person at a time. I was impressed, and respect that. Anyhow, the other guy responded. A few messages back and forth and he suggests contact through email. So, once he’s emailed me I did my usual search, found him on Facebook.

Now, I have my facebook account pretty locked down, people can’t see anything, and even some ‘friends’ aren’t allowed to see my wall. This guy’s wall is visible to all.

What did the most recent status update say?

Mr X ” says you’re all invited to my bachelor party! Granted, I’m not even getting married. But thats not a reason to not have a night out with my buddies with beer and strippers!”

The status update below that, from Friday was:

Mr X ” says whenever I start to get tired of being single… I go sleep on the couch to remember what being in a relationship is like!”

Now, I realize that he may be making a joke and I haven’t met him and don’t know what his sense of humour is like, BUT, this is publicly visible, employers can see it, media, customers, and WOMEN HE MAY WANT TO DATE. So, if he was someone who I knew, I may have found it quite funny (depending on the person saying those things), but in this case it’s just offensive and creeps me out.

So, he goes into the ‘NO’ category. Now I just have to decide if I should be direct and say what I’m thinking (something I’m working on), or do what I normally would do and just never respond.

So my simple rule: WATCH what you say when you’re online, because women, or at least this woman, does search and it can be a deal-breaker.

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One year ago today I was on a plane, heading home from a trip to Arizona and a visit with ‘the distraction’, I was excited to be heading to my first day of nursing school and I had no clue what the next year would hold.  Today I woke up early, and in spite of a chest cold I dragged myself out for a run with some friends in my running group.  We did a 10k run and then I came home and cleaned my place (and skimmed some readings in preparation for Wednesday).

This break has been much needed, though I have been working at a hospital as a student nurse — so it hasn’t been just relaxing.  I’m okay with that.  It felt ‘normal’ to me, and it reminded me of what it’s like to just work (the new not-nine-to-five  schedule not withstanding).  As the break ends and I face the reality of school.

I thought it was time to write a summary post since I’ve really not wanted to write much.  It’s not that I don’t like blogging my thoughts on life and what’s going on with me, it’s that I spent so much time writing papers, and ‘reflections’ (think blogging but it’s required and has a deadline), posters, videos and exams that I couldn’t help but think “NO MORE”. It was nice to take a break.  I hope to spend more time blogging — after all, there is an app on my phone now so I can blog on the go. 😀

This summer wasn’t all work, and there were great highlights:

KOOZA!

For those who don’t know, Kooza is this year’s Cirque Du Soleil and I went with three of my girl friends.  We’d planned it early this summer and had amazing seats! Watching some of the crazy stunts — some traditional such as type rope walking, some not so traditional, but it made me realize just what some human bodies can do.  I don’t by any stretch of the imagination believe my body should at all resemble those in the performance, but it did remind me that I want to place a priority on maintaining my exercising while I’m in school this time around.  Then there were the contortionists!  These two women were lying stomach down on the stage, their legs were flipped around in front of themselves and the they ran their legs around themselves 360 degrees.  It was amazing to watch but also was a bit creepy in that a person’s body shouldn’t be able to bend that way.  All in all Kooza was an amazing night, magical, and may have been the biggest highlight of the summer!

Bard on the Beach

I try to go to as many shows as possible, and this year I will make it to all of them! The last one will be in a couple of weeks.  My favourite one was Much Ado About Nothing, but all the performances were superb.  Falstaff was a riot and I can’t wait to see Henry V.   There is something about being at an outdoor stage at the beach, inside a tent, a bit chilly (especially this year) enjoying Shakespeare.

The Cabin

I finished a set of four shifts: two days followed by two nights.  The last night was rather intense and I needed to connect with friends. So, I stayed awake and went for a slow jog — more like a walk — then out for a quick coffee.  That day had me rushing to get to the doctor (check up for my whip lash I’ve been dealing with — I’m on the mend but not yet back to baseline), then out to lunch. Yes, all without sleeping.  I’d planned on going to the cabin, so I took a short nap (~45min) and then packed up and went to the cabin.

My family’s cabin is probably my favourite place.  It’s a place of ‘peace’ and relaxation for me, and this break was my only chance to get there this summer.   I spent the time sleeping and recovering — by the time I went to bed (quite early) I slept for 13 hours and then napped a lot the next day.  I learned that I’ll have to make sure to sleep well after night shifts during school.  All in all, I didn’t do much while I was there, but it was definitely time well spent.

Online Dating

One of the things I wanted to do this break is to figure out ways of meeting new people.  So, I decided to sign up for one of the free online dating sites.   I’ve realized that online dating takes A LOT of work, and really, I question if it’s worth my time.  I also need to change my profile so that I’m specific: message me if you think you may want to meet up after a few messages.  One guy who messaged me sent me long as in 1500 word long messages about how wonderful he thought I was. BUT this was after 5 or 6 messages, having seen one photo of me.  Long messages like that are not appropriate for so early on.  Plus, there’s been no mention of meeting up. I was not convinced I would want to get involved with this guy for other reasons (not important to chat about here), so I couldn’t convince myself to write the appropriate email back.  I did suggest we IM but he hasn’t been in contact and hasn’t asked me out. So I can’t be bothered to keep up the effort of emailing.  Another guy started messaging me and it turns out that he’s doing a degree in the same institute.  We chatted for a while, I would have been interested in meeting him. But after 3 weeks of messaging (every couple of days), there was no mention of meeting. I finally emailed a response but didn’t specifically ask any questions — just to see if the guy would ask me out — nothing.

Guy #3 and I messaged back and forth and then met for dinner. He’s a nice guy, and it was a pleasant conversation, but I wasn’t attracted to him.  Plus, he has no car and lives in the boonies. That would be okay, except that he was unwilling to come my direction to meet and didn’t use a co-op car.   This makes me think “Um No”, but I would have gone out with him once more — give him a second chance.  As it turns out, he didn’t call, and I’m relieved about that.  Now that school is starting again I think I’m going to just ignore the site. I wont specifically take my profile down, but I’m not particularly interested in taking the time on this.

So tomorrow I start the insanity of school and I have 8 months left.  As time progresses, I’ll better understand where the next path will be and what that means.

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