October 4, 2008
I’m so glad this week is over. It hasn’t been a bad week, but it’s been long. This weekend will be a restful one. I’ll run in the morning, clean, laundry, take a dance class, relax at home. Mostly it’s time to recover from the lovely insanity of September and prepare myself for more fun in October.
And it’ll be time to think more about what I want so that I can look ahead and plan. I have ideas and we’ll see how they all play out. For now though it’s sleep. Much later than it should be.
October 1, 2008
September has been the best month of 2008. I have had amazing dances, fun times hanging out with friends, good times at work, and I think I’ve had a smile on my face all month. People have been noticing, I’ve been radiating confidence, and have been getting ‘attention’. I have started Pilates, more Bellydance, and have taken some more dance classes. I’ve registered for an event in November, and have realized that I can’t afford an event in October that I want to go to. There’s a guy on whom I have a crush — at least as far as I can tell at this point it wont likely be serious.
All in all, September has been a fantastic month. I’ve loved it, and I’m excited for October.
Tonight I stayed home. My head was a bit sore, so I decided that home on my couch is probably the best thing for me. It was great: PJ’s at 6pm. I spent the evening chatting with A about shoes and doing my finances for September. Overall my spending was about the same as for August. This is impressive given I went to San Francisco, and multiple trips to Seattle. But I need to improve things. I’ve cancelled my private medical (I have work medical now), and have moved my bills to a lower interest rate account, so that will reduce interest. But I need to: reduce restaurant spending, reduce coffee spending, and I need to sort out the possibility of a roommate situation. Not something I’m excited about, but it’s reality — I need to reduce my spending. Hopefully this stress will ease.
So my goal for this week: No eating out. I’ll have to carefully plan my meals, but I would like to not spend money there — not restaurant or coffee spending. So on that note, I need to go, make my lunch for tomorrow.
September 25, 2008
Tonight. I did something I’ve not really done much before. But I did it. In other vague not well explained to maintain net-privacy terms A & B from yesterday, also I was reminded that like the other one, it too has A, B and maybe C. Choice definitely abounds!
In other news, tonight I got home from work, napped and actually managed to drag myself for a ~6k run. Given my low running motivation these days, that’s saying something. But before my Bellydance class I went and ran. I think I’ll do that every week. Drive to the class 1hr or so early, go for a run, and then do the class. That way I don’t have to walk or bus home in the rainy winter nights like it is currently.
And now I must organize and clean so that my houseguests aren’t shocked once they see this place…
September 24, 2008
Tonight I was driving home from a meeting and I was reminded that a long time ago in my heart I knew I’d have to make choices. I’m in a place of choice. In two areas of my life it feels like there are choices before me. In one area it feels like a choice between A or B is arising and in another area it feels more open. A and B, sure but also perhaps C or maybe even D?
Hence, balancing. I don’t know what next month is going to look like, and as much as I’m a planner by nature, I’m okay with that. I’m trying to enjoy each day as it comes and make each choice to the best of my ability based on the information I have.
But choices are definitely present. And they’re good things. They’re fun choices, I’m not sad. But sometimes it’s easier just to have your path mapped out for you. Ah choices.
September 23, 2008
That’s something I’m learning right now. How to balance things. I am not talking about a busy schedule - I’ve got that more or less sorted out. To do lists - need to work on that some more. But situations, delicate ones. I wonder what this next season will bring? Proceeding carefully mindful of feelings - mine in particular - while still enjoying each day as it comes.
Each day is a step. Where will tomorrow’s lead? I need to take the step, and then I think I need say something. But this one is different from the ones I need to carefully balance.
In less vague more practical term: I went shopping for a bridesmaid’s dress with my friend A.. Looks quite pretty, so we got it. That was the easiest bridesmaid’s dress shopping trip I think I’ve ever been on. What fun! Nice to have it done too.
September 21, 2008
I’m sitting at my kitchen table, making my first batch ever of homemade ice cream, and I’m thinking about my weekend. I decided to go to Blues Underground, as usual. It was a night with many beginners, but I still managed to have dances with some surprising leads. Due to situations in the past few months, I decided just to be flaked out in the back, which was nice, because it helped with catching up on sleep, a little bit.
I almost stayed in Seattle, but didn’t know how I’d get back on Sunday, so I decided to go home after Blues Underground. After sleeping, and a fantastic dance class, I got ready and went right back to Seattle. It’s definitely time to get a Nexus pass, because the number of questions I’m sometimes getting these days. And it’d be more efficient.
But I ended up going down. The party was a fantastic party. I had a number of amazing dances! I had some fantastic fun playful dances, steamy dances, quiet dances and just general fun times. I also realized that I am really in a ‘unique’ place emotionally. It’s not that I’m in a bad place. Not at all, I’m quite content. But, I’m at a very different place than where I was 6 months, or even 4 months ago. It’s not that I’m upset by my response, in fact, just the opposite. It’s just a different response than I would have expected. Fortunately it’s not a response that particularly directly impacts me right now, so I have time to think about how this affects me — if in fact it does.
I came home mid-afternoon and went out for dinner with my family and now it’s time for bed so that I’m ready to face work and all the crazy schedules of this next week. Oh, once my ice cream finishes mixing…
September 20, 2008
I don’t even know where to begin. How does one summarize a weekend such as the one I’ve had?
I’ve had a challenge writing this post of my experience at SFLX ‘08. It was an amazing weekend, filled with amazing dances, meeting great new people, getting to know old friends better, cuddling and awesome food. The late night snacks were unparalleled at this event. 
But, the frustrating thing is I’ve tried writing this a few times and it keeps getting lost. So suffice it to say, it was epic. Dancing at the 9:20 Special and Lindy in the Park, exploring Haight-Ashbury (sp?), sleeping with a mass of people - it’s like a giant cuddle pile! 
I had some amazing dances, met some fantastic people (perhaps I even have a teeny crush on one of them) and generally had a blast.
So now there’s the brief summary. I still need to post photos, and get that organized, but for now I am going to relax. Think about the amusement of getting ‘phone numbered’ last night by an airforce pilot and generally plan my evening — which will involve more Seattle. I think I’m addicted.
September 10, 2008
I really should be cleaning and packing for my trip to San Francisco. But, I’m trying to plan some of my fall activities and this is where the challenge of getting back to my previous financial place really comes into play. So I’m considering what it is that I want to be doing with my time, and how I’m going to make those things possible.
The way to do that:
Stop my private medical ASAP. I need to anyways, but if I can get it cancelled immediately, then that’d be ideal. So I called my private medical and they cancelled it for me. If I get charged in October then I can call them and they will reverse the charges.
So, I have registered for PIlates and I will register for Bellydance again. The rest of the evening was spent dealing with the bank (I’ll tell that story later), running around like crazy to get ready for my trip to San Francisco and general organizing.
For now though I’m going to post this or it will never get published… Stay tuned for the stories of San Francisco…
September 7, 2008
Friday was a fun evening — hanging with friends, enjoying a night out. It was needed. I feel a little badly that I skipped a dance friend’s birthday dinner, but I was out, having fun and doing what I needed to be doing.
While we were out, a sales rep-type guy from Eli Lilly game over and started schmoozing with us. I very clearly did the ‘back off’ vibe. So, he hit on one of the other women. Once she left he started saying to me ’so should I sleep ‘wink wink’ or go out dancing’. I think I said something like ‘you’ll have to decide that yourself’. He was slimey and married, so I just rolled my eyes.
Saturday I bailed out of running. I really have lost my running mojo and need to find it again. I don’t know where it is, but I need to somehow find it. Tomorrow I’ll have my running gear waiting by the door after work. My goal: To run before I sit and relax. I need to keep my running going — I’m going to be in my friend’s wedding (the date TBD) and I need to keep fit… Pictures and all that… So yeah, I need to re-find my running mojo. Tomorrow I have dinner plans, but I’ll go for a run right away and if I have to have dinner in running gear, so be it.
But I digress…
Once my lazy Saturday morning was done, I went to my dance class. It was fantastic. A great balance of people. I enjoyed the group of people in the class and I’m definitely feeling like I have a lot to work on. I enjoy that feeling because if I can work on it, it will improve my dancing. Afterwards we went to a new (to me) restaurant. A lovely vegetarian place on Main Street. Rather than dance, I went home and enjoyed a night off. It was nice to be at home, relaxing and not doing a thing. But apparently I missed a great evening. But I don’t mind
Today was a day of the weekly Sunday Brunch, walk along the beach and then home. But tonight I went out with One in 36 Million. It was lovely to catch up and chat more deeply than following up on each other’s blogs as we do to keep up with each other.
I’m feeling rested and relaxed. A great feeling. Now I just need to sort out finances, career, goals and directions, future — all of those things. But one thing at a time.
September 6, 2008
How was August for spending? Better. My spending on my visa was lower than previous months, but it’s not ideal yet. I did put clothes on my visa as I described. The challenge is that I needed the clothes, but I didn’t feel that I had the money. So the stress is there. But I did use it once in August for a restaurant spending.
So for September:
Hopefully these goals for this month will help me with my arrangments as I make choices about my goals…
